in a week time, i will be moving to UC sandiego, which is located in san diego, 8 hours away from where i stay now. it seems like i will miss everything here. afterall, i stayed here for a year and a half. halim said, in singapore people know each other for 7 years and did so little things. while we knew each other for a year and a half and did so much. well, i dont get what he meant by we did so much, but yes i do feel that we done quite a lot.
every second is ticking away, soon it will be the day i move out of this town to a new environment again. it is kinda of upsetting to leave this place. leaving my friends and so on.
to make the situation worse at times, i have to leave her alone behind. well, what a joke. i think i am just gonna mention it once here, her name is stella and she is my girlfriend. i dont know how things are going to move or be from this point onwards. for this past few months, we did quite a lot. partly because i was having holidays too, thats why i can spend my time with her.
i can feel the drift, between me and my friends at times. because i set her as my priority, which i think at times its bad. cause i cant spend time with my friends. sometimes i wished she could focus on me more, well maybe im too self centered. sometimes i feel dumb doing things for girls. i really do feel dumb. anyway, no matter how you look at it, im still the one dumb. ok maybe from today onwards, i'll try to be smarter. ahhh, now i dont feel like writing anymore cause i feel stupid. fuck.
forget it, she wont be reading anyway.
darwin
奇跡見えない。
Monday, August 14, 2006
its great having friends at times.
friends that you can trust and just fall back to when you go way too far forward in life.
people make difference in my life, its perhaps situation like this that make me realized again, and again how important friends are in our lives. its an upsetting day today. despite not being able to talk to any of my close or best friend online, but i just feel assured that their presence in the world will make a difference in my life. before, right now and perhaps the future.
so i decided that i shall not forget my friends, especially people like prasetyo, ewen, andre, zihui, genim and so many more people that helped me pass by unhappy times in my life. sometimes i know that we guys drift apart, that maybe its part of a journey that we must take. but im really glad that friends like them existed in the world. they were more than an extra hands and legs to help me out, but perhaps they make up an extra home, for you to go temporarily when are you in need of one.
maybe im feeling emo that made me wrote all this thing. too bad she wouldnt be reading it.
well.
darwin
奇跡見えない。
Thursday, August 10, 2006
hello everybody and HAPPY BIRTHDAY EWEN!
hahaha. you are finally 18, wihch means in singapore you are legal for
alcohol. cigrattes. sex shops.
many many other things, and the most important, HUMP A GIRL EWEN! well i know you will say there are nothing but dinosaurs in SRJC. hahahahahaha, i'll call you later to catch up with you. hahahhaha.
anyway, im still in pleasant hill enjoying my holidays. things arent going the right way exactly. cause many many things are happening. i think i kinda disappointed my parents with my current behaviour. think mom is really pissed while dad is pissed too. friends are leaving one by one, and i dont know what to do either. sometimes it just feels like you are alone. weird man.
oh well. i dont know what to update about my life, but im been seending people up and down like a total idiot at times with my car. but then it isnt without a purpose. sometimes people just want me to smile and smile, they just dont understand.
now my heart is filled with total guiltiness towards my parents and especially my mother because after that she has done for me, im acting like a total jackass at times. im upset man. tsktsk. haiii.